"2) Statistically, women need to have all their children by 35.
According to the author, a woman’s ability to get pregnant plummets starting in her mid-thirties. To make matters worse, the odds of a miscarriage for a woman over 35 is one in four."
Our family doctor gave the odds as 3 in 5.
In practical experience, I know of four friends who have miscarried at 35 (after being pregnant for over 3 months), out of about 11 who had kids at that age.
My wife and I have always suspected that the 3 out of 5 statistic also includes miscarriages in the first two months of pregnancy where you might not have been sure you were pregnant or late.
I read The Baby Chase: An Adventure in Fertility last year and I think everyone in their 20s should read it. It's about the author's struggles to have a baby and it made a huge impression on me as a woman in my mid-twenties. I'm not going to rush into anything, but I'm not going to date people who aren't ready to have a family anymore. I do wish I were a man sometimes though so I wouldn't have to worry about this as much.
The one-in-four statistic is for miscarriages after the sixth week of pregnancy. In the general population, the percentage of miscarriages is 15%, or about one-in-six.
One thing to keep in mind is that a miscarriage is not the end of the world. Heartbreaking, yes, but it's not too late to try again.
I think that the word "miscarriage" carries extreme connotations with it, you instantly imagine giving birth to a dead baby.
In Germany, if a fetus or embryo does not continue development at an early-ish stage and is expelled by the womb, midwives (I used to date one for 2 years) usually use the word "Schwangerschaftsabbruch", which translates to "discontinuation of pregnancy".
I think that's a word which much better describes what's happening without the emotional baggage and which might prepare people better to what's going on - my girlfriend is 37 and we're trying to have kids but it's hard, and I know that we're going to run into a few "discontinuations" before anything is going to happen.
Just to chime in here, I personally know two 34+ year old moms who had children in the past 2 years with Down Syndrome, after having numerous miscarriages. It seems a lot of young geeky guys commenting here forget that it's not just men who have a child so if you want to have a kid in your 30s and 40s after building a career, it's going to be difficult to find a partner at that same age who has the same goals.
It's not just the age of the female partner that affects the child's health. As men age, the risk of passing genetic mutations (including those that cause diseases) onto their offspring increases. This article talks the study: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthiness/9492343/Men-ad...
So if you're an older guy, having kids with a younger woman doesn't make this problem go away.
Wow, I guess my family have some handy mutations here...my mom and dad were both born to mothers older than 36, and my mom gave birth to me and my brother at 39 and 42, respectively.
As fertility technology improves, don't you think that such experiences will become more common?
According to the author, a woman’s ability to get pregnant plummets starting in her mid-thirties. To make matters worse, the odds of a miscarriage for a woman over 35 is one in four."
Our family doctor gave the odds as 3 in 5.
In practical experience, I know of four friends who have miscarried at 35 (after being pregnant for over 3 months), out of about 11 who had kids at that age.
My wife and I have always suspected that the 3 out of 5 statistic also includes miscarriages in the first two months of pregnancy where you might not have been sure you were pregnant or late.