I don't get the satire - you would propose the same regulation for individuals ? Don't see anything corporation specific about the comment.

I know you're being sarcastic here. But man it depresses me how many people seem to unironically think this way.

I actually like that corporations want to be considered people - that means they are not above the law, no matter the size, therefore if they cause harm to people(s), and it is intentional/illegal it is entirely within the right of government to stop them.